English-The Read Aloud

Please post one of your last body paragraphs from Essay #3.  Choose your WORST paragraph to get the best results!

Please choose a classmate’s (SEE BELOW) body paragraph to read; 

As Adams stated in his Dream that through hard work, the dream was achievable by everyone, Hansberry finally contradicts this thought by showing the audience that the Younger family already put their effort and investment towards their goal: Walter’s sixty five hundred dollar investment and Mama’s down payment on the house. The last issue with achieving American Dreams for African Americans is the fact that there will be discrimination and racism from society. When the Youngers family finally decide to move and own their own home, Mr. Lindner asks them to reconsider due to the interest of the white neighborhood. He questions, “What do you think you are going to gain by moving into a neighborhood where you just aren’t wanted and where some elements—well—people can get awful worked up when they feel that their whole way of life and everything they’ve ever worked for is threatened” (Hansberry, 2.3). Like Adam stated, the American Dream is to own a home. When Mama finally gets the chance to fully pay for her home, she is stopped by Mr. Lindner, a caucasian male, who wants her to reconsider for the sake of maintaining the reputation of the neighborhood. Because the neighborhood has been comfortably living in an all white area, they claim to feel threatened by an African family. The racism and selfishness of Mr. Lindner is shown by his attempt to stop the colored family from achieving their dream. He even goes to the extent of offering money for them to not move in which accumulated to more than the value of the house. Although he was unsuccessful in stopping the family from achieving their American Dream by owning a home, the neighborhoods’ racism that was represented by Mr. Lindner showed the effects of slowing down the process of the family achieving their dream. Aware of other more violent acts of racism Hansberry uses this scene to demonstrate that although none of the Youngers were harmed through moving in, racism is part of why the American Dream is not achievable by all. 

Also explain (this time, in writing format) what wording/language you find confusing in this paragraph.  Do you notice any wordiness?  Awkwardness?  Word choice issues?  Mention anything that interferes with the reader’s understanding of the paragraph.

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